Never Forget the Thing You Never Knew

15 Mar

Newsflash: an ass-kicking earthquake and tsunami has rocked Japan, killing thousands and leaving many times more that number injured and homeless. Like most people with working sensory organs, I’ve been following this tragedy in the news and on YouTube, and the information and images that I’ve seen have been staggering. There’s one thing, however, surrounding this natural disaster which has incensed me to the point of annoyed laughter: Americans posting facebook status updates claiming that this earthquake is just desserts for Pearl Harbor.


You remember Pearl Harbor, right? That was the attack on a U.S. military base in Honolulu, Hawaii which ostensibly brought America into World War II. It was a tremendous disaster, claiming almost twelve hundred American lives. It also happened seventy fucking years ago. I don’t think it’s a reach to say that anyone still living that can recall this event probably isn’t posting status updates on facebook. Since you’re so keen on World War II history, be sure to read up on how FDR knew in advance about the Pearl Harbor attack but let it happen to justify our entrance into World War II, and be sure to check out Farewell to Manzanar for a slightly different take on our Most Justified War.


There are so many ludicrous levels to unearth in the stupid statements of facebook racists, it’s tough to know where to begin. The implied divine right of America is just one retarded facet. But the real point is that there already was vengeance for Pearl Harbor in the form of two fucking atomic bombs which eliminated Shintoism and ushered in Godzilla. We essentially crippled a culture and forced them to Westernize in order to stay relevant. Think about that next time you flip on your Sony blu ray player and watch a little Ju-on. Ask not for whom the grudge tolls: it tolls for thee!

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